plight of the flightless

Sunday lunch with the family, sun shining, awesome food, cell phone off and happily forgotten. The conversation, as it does, turns to gay penguins. Since apparently, somewhere in Germany there is a zoo, in which reside a gym-load of happy gay penguins. They have taken male partners and scorn any advances by the resident females, kind of like a feathered version of Alexander the Great with german accents.

Now the local zookeepers, vexed by the absence of a "Venn Ze Animals Go Gay" chapter in their manuals and the consequent lack of eggs required for reproduction, have turned north for help. They imported a dozen totally fit Finnish penguins, young, pert, lusty specimens on any avian meter, to arouse interest in the rainbow colony. And nothing wrong I must say, having had the pleasure of experiencing some of Finlands finer exports. The gay penguins however, turned their beaks up and stayed faithful to their male lovers. "Sieg!" shouted the german gay community, they could totally identify with the existential crisis endured by their plumed brethren (not to be confused with the eggs-essential crisis endured by their keepers..), and so closed yet another chapter on gay animal rights.

It was a heart warming tale on any accounts, and quite honestly the closest thing to make me feel even slightly fuzzy on Valentines day. I don't know if thats sad or not. Last year I woke up in a french apartment at five in the morning to give my Then-Girlfriend a card and some emotional abuse before she flew around the world on a 747 for a week. She called from Heathrow and we made up, but still, gay penguins just do it for me. Know what I'm sayin??